Conor Oberst/Bright Eyes

OMG! You are so sad. No really, we get your pain. It's really hard to be a good looking music prodigy. We understand that such pressure makes you deep. That's why you think about politics and war and stuff. No one really understands you, that's why you have to layer your work with horns and cymbals and a whole host of other instruments. You're not hiding your musical genius, you're expressing it by conducting a twenty five piece orchestra. You're the youngest and most talented of your kind. Keep up the good work!