I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line
Between being nice and not hurting people's feelings
And standing up for what you believe.
I've learned that no matter how good a friend someone is,
They're going to hurt you every once in awhile
And you must forgive them for that.
I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken,
The world doesn't stop for your grief
A young woman asked her mom one day, "how do I keep guys off me?" and her mom replied "ask him what the baby's name will be". So the next day she goes to a party and asks guys who are hitting on her, "what will the baby's name be?" This gets rid of them in a hurry. Then one guy dances with her and she asks, "what will the baby's name be?" So he takes her upstairs and when they're done she asks again, "what will the baby's name be?" He then removes his condom, ties it at the top and says, "if the baby gets out of this, call him Houdini"