Miss Jess *FBBZ* Marie *Sexyyy* FCM*Cause you and I both loved What you and I spoke of And others just read of Others only read of the love, the love that I love. <3yesterday
i like to do battles & i send out mass votes .If you have added me not understanding that i am part of battle groups, or you just dont vote, Dont waste both my time and your by writing me saying your a nonvoter, Just delete me. & please DUDEs stop send me messages saying you think im beautifull, ect. I have a boyfriend so please respect that. Also I will not respond to "NO Subject" Messages if you are taking the time to message please put something as the title or its just goin to be deleted
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The Names Jess Marie.
I'm 20 years old.
My birthday is February 18th.
Remember that.
I never liked The label " Average" or "Normal".
I tend to be random and crazy.
But I also have a tendency to be shy around new people
But that wears off once you get to know me.
There are a lot of things people don't know about me. and I like it that way.
I do smoke pot and drink alcohol and puff down cigarettes likes its no big deal.
Don't like that fuck off, K thanks.
I have my own opinions about everything in life, and
I'm not afraid to express them at any point.
If you don't like that, I'm sorry.
I also have my own views on religion.
But I wont force them upon you
And I hope you respect that and I hope you'll do the same.
I don't plan on being in Virginia for long.
My heart will always and forever be in New York,
Sometime in the near future I plan on moving back and
MAke my dreams come true
I will make something of my life.
And thats a fucking Guarantee. I have bigg plans for me,
And I will knock anyone or thing down to accomplish them.
I'm easy to get along with until you do some harm to me.
I have learned that life is way too short to let problems
or assholes get to me, But once you have fucked me over.
Consider yourself done. forever.
I do not like to be played or fucked around with. I have feelings.
If you get to know me, I'll make a promise now,
You will definitely have a fun, and crazy time.
And in the end..<
I can promise you that if you take the time to get to know me
You'll take a liking to me.
Ideal Man
A rich lonely widow decided that she needed another man in her life so she placed an ad, which read something like this:
RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE ...NEEDS TO HAVE THESE QUALIFICATIONS:
1) WON'T BEAT ME UP
2) WON'T RUN AWAY
3) HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail, etc., all to no avail: none seemed to match her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find a man with no arms and no legs lying on the welcome mat.
Perplexed, she asked, "Who are you? And what do you want?"
"Hi," he said, " your search is over, for I'm the man of your dreams. I've got no arms so I can't beat you up and no legs so I can't run away."
"Well, then," she said, "what makes you think that you're so great in bed?"
To which he replied,..... "Well, I rang the doorbell, didn't I?
A man goes to a fancy dress party wearing nothing but a jamjar on his cock.
A lady asks "What are you dressed as?"
He says a fireman!
You break the glass, pull the knob and I'll cum as fast as I can.
HAVE A GREAT DAY!!! GOD BLESS AND BE SURE TO THANK A SERVICE MAN TODAY!!! THANKS
1. Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.
2. Drink a cup of coffee.
3. 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.
Money Spent:
$20.00 Oil Change
$1.00 Coffee
----------------
$21.00 Total
Men:
1. Go to auto parts store and write a
check for $50 dollars for oil, filter, kitty litter, hand cleaner and scented tree.
2. Discover that the used oil container
is full. Instead of taking it back to recycle, dump in hole in back yard.
3. Open a beer and drink it.
4. Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking
for jack stands.
5. Find jack stands under kid's pedal car.
6. In frustration, open another beer and drink it.
7. Place drain pan under engine.
8. Look for 9/16 box end wrench.
9. Give up and use crescent wrench.
10. Unscrew drain plug.
11. Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil; get hot oil on you in process.
12. Clean up.
13. Have another beer while oil is draining.
14. Look for oil filter wrench.
15. Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist it off.
16. Beer.
17. Buddy shows up; finish case with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.
18. Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.
19. Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 18.
20. Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.
21. Walk to 7-11; buy beer.
22. Install new oil filter making sure to apply thin coat of clean oil to gasket first.
23. Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.
24. Remember drain plug from step 11.
25. Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.
26. Hurry to replace drain plug before the whole quart of fresh oil drains onto floor.
27. Slip with wrench and bang knuckles on frame.
28. Bang head on floor board in reaction.
29. Begin cussing fit.
30. Throw wrench.
31. Cuss for additional 10 minutes because wrench hit Miss December (1992) in the left breast.
32. Clean up. Apply Band-Aid to knuckle.
33. Beer.
34. Beer.
35. Dump in additional 4 quarts of oil.
36. Beer.
37. Lower car from jack stands
38. Accidentally crush one of the jack stands
39. Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 23.
40. Test drive car
41. Get pulled over; arrested for driving under the influence.
42. Car gets impounded.
43. Make bail. Get car from impound yard.
Money Spent:
$50 parts
$12 beer
$75 replacement set of jack stands; hey the colors have to match!
$1000 Bail
$200 Impound and towing fee
---------------------------
$1337 Total
LMFAO...
Gifts
Stickers 
Causes
Whatever I Want
Autographs
