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Two guys are walking through the woods and come across a big deep hole.

"Wow, that looks deep."

"Sure does! Toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is." They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait, but there is no noise.

"Jeeez. That is really deep. Here, throw one of those great big rocks down there. That should make a noise."

They pick up a couple of football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait. They wait, and wait, but again hear nothing.

They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, "Hey, over here in the weeds, there's a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss that in, it's got to make some noise!"

The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole.

Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as its legs will carry it. Suddenly it leaps in the air and into the hole.

The two men are astonished with what they've just seen.

Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. "Hey! You two guys seen my goat out here?"

"You bet we did! Craziest thing I've ever seen. It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!"

"Nah," says the farmer, "that couldn't have been mine. My goat was chained to a railroad tie."

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Speed Limit

Sitting on the side of the highway waiting to catch speeders, a State Policeman sees a car puttering along at 22 miles per hour. He thinks to himself, "This driver is just as dangerous as a speeder!"

So he turns on his lights and pulls the driver over. Approaching the car, he notices that there are five blondes - two in the front and three in the back of the car - wide-eyed and white as ghosts.

The driver is obviously confused, and says to him, "Officer, I don't understand, I was doing exactly the speed limit! What seems to be the problem?"

"Ma'am," the officer replies, "you weren't speeding, but you should know that driving slower than the speed limit can also be a danger to other drivers."

"Slower than the speed limit? No sir, I was doing the speed limit exactly - twenty-two miles an hour," the old woman said proudly.

The State Police officer, trying to contain a chuckle explains to her that "22" was the route number, not the speed limit. A bit embarrassed, the woman grinned and thanked the officer for pointing out her error.

"But before I let you go, Ma'am," the officer says, "I have to ask... Is everyone in this car okay? These women seem awfully shaken and they haven't muttered a single peep this whole time."

"Oh, they'll be all right in a minute, officer. We just got off Route 119."


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