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 Totally owned -- November 20, 2009 04:34 PM |
This is Deb, my son Chris, my brothers Gary and Greg . . . and, of course, me . . .  Send your own ElfYourself eCards |
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 KEPOLA (DEBBIE) November 15, 2009 08:36 PM |
The Time is coming !!Ho Ho Ho.....Let it snow!   It's the start of.....Snow Ball Fight 2009!! and 2010!! One rule to this game.... You can NOT hit someone who has already hit you! Now...go out there and get as many people as you can, before they get you! I got you first! and you can't get me back! Nanee - Nanee - Nanee! (hehe)  we grow old because we stop playing. Never Be The First To Get Old!!!!! Now, I have seen my share of redneck emails.. some stupid... some funny. But this one.. ok.. I have to admit it.. This Person is One True.. Deep Down to the Core... Certified RED-NECK!!!!  Take the Giraffe Test and then pass it on to your friends so they can take it also. 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?  Stop and think about it and decide on your answer before you scroll down. The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way. 2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?  Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator? Wrong Answer. Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions. 3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals  attend .... Except one. Which animal does not attend? Correct Answer : The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory. Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities. 4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and  you do not have a boat. How do you manage it? Correct Answer:? You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes. According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the Professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers. Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals do not have the brains of a four-year-old.  Could Be Some Truth In This One....But Then Maybe NOT....  I Think I Have Seen This Sign Locally.....Seriously....  And I know I Have This One.....  I Wouldn't Wanna Have To Answer The Phones For These Guys.....  Hot Tub Party (Some nice racks!)   And what exactly, were you expecting...?? Okay Enough Of My Nonsense For One Afternoon... Have A Great Evening and Remember I 'R' Your Biggest.....  |
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Totally owned -- November 13, 2009 12:30 PM |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) November 05, 2009 10:58 PM |
           The Potato Prostitute... Two little potatoes are standing on the street corner. One is a prostitute. How can you tell which one is the prostitute? You're gonna love it...  It's the one with the little sticker that says... I - DA - HO  One More Time....  Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife that the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live. Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex. Naturally, she agrees, so they make love. About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says, 'Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live. Could we please do it one more time? ' Of course, the wife agrees, and they do it again. Later, as the man gets into bed, he looks at his watch and realizes that he now has only 8 hours left. He touches his wife ' s shoulder and asks, 'Honey, please... just one more time before I die. ' She says, ' Of course, Dear, ' and they make love for the third time. After this session, the wife rolls over and falls to sleep. Morris, however, worried about his impending death, tosses and turns, until he ' s down to 4 more hours. He taps his wife, who rouses. ' Honey, I have only 4 more hours. Do you think we could... ' At this point the wife sits up and says, ' L isten Morris, enough is enough I have to get up in the morning... you don't. ' The Living Will.....  Last Sunday evening, my kids stopped over for a visit, and while we were all sitting together in the living room, I told them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle......and if that ever happens, just pull the plug.' They got up, unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine. They are such asses!  New use for Windex I haven't checked ' snopes.com ' to see if this actually works or not . . . But they say, If you ever get the sudden Urge to run around naked, You should sniff some Windex first. It'll keep you from streaking.  Sears Catalog  Two rednecks were looking at a Sears catalog and admiring the models.  One says to the other, 'Have you seen the beautiful girls in this catalog?'  The second one replies, 'Yes, they are very beautiful. And look at the price!' The first one says, with wide eyes, 'Wow, they aren't very expensive. At this price, I'm buying one.' The second one smiles and pats him on the back. 'Good idea! Order one and if she's as beautiful as she is in the catalog, I will get one too.' Three weeks later, the youngest redneck asks his friend, 'Did you ever receive the girl you ordered from the Sears catalog?' The second redneck replies......  SCROLL DOWN . YOU'LL LOVE IT!  'No, but it shouldn't be long now. I got her clothes yesterday.    |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) November 04, 2009 03:05 AM |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) November 02, 2009 06:12 PM |
The Banana Test.... If your answer is: Lion = you're dull. Chimpanzee = you're dense. Giraffe = you're a complete moron. Squirrel = you're hopeless. A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.  Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax    This is the best and cutest thing I have read lately.   God Saw you hungry and created McDonalds, Wendys, Taco Bell, Burger King and Dairy Queen.... He saw you thirsty and created Coke, Juice, Coffee and Water .... GOD saw you in the dark and created Light.... GOD saw you without a Good looking , adorable , FRIEND........ So He created ME ...     Send this on to your good friends who are so lucky to haveYOU for a friend also....  Wash your hands and say your prayers ... Because germs and Jesus are everywhere.... |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) November 02, 2009 12:57 AM |
  I was feeling a little nosey, so I thought I would look in on you and see if you are sitting at your computer... Yup, there you are!         From The Mouths Of Babe's....Or So They Say....You will hear the dandiest things...         Compassion in Australia? Until one has loved an animal, part of his soul remains unawakened. AT 120 DEGREES IN AUSTRALIA, IT WAS SO HOT FOR A WEEK .... THAT KOALA'S WERE ASKING PEOPLE FOR WATER.... IT'S NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE....   ONE WENT TO A HOUSE TO TRY TO HIDE FROM THE HEAT AND TO GET A BIT OF SHADE AND HEREs WHAT HAPPENED WHEN THE OWNER GAVE HIM SOMETHING TO DRINK. IT'S REALLY CUTE.    Every Year In Most Major Cities...They Have Poodle Grooming Contests...Which As You Will See Is Very Creative and Competitive...I Was Sorta Afraid To Ask How Much They Charge To Turn Your Poodle Into a Buffalooooo or Camel.... These are all poodles that entered in some contest named Extreme Grooming. Some Of These Poor Dogs May Never Recover From The Humiliation..... Camel  For St. Patty's Day  Cock-A-Poodle-Doo....  Gone Fishing....  Ninja Turtle....  Vineyard....  Fallen Soldier....he is missing a leg to Cancer....  Clydesdale....  Peacock....  Buffalo....  If Your Not Smiling By Now....There Is Something Seriously Wrong With ya....Ohhhh....and a Dog Will be right out to peeee on your computer.....Poooooooooooooof.....I Told Ya....You Gotta Smile....   The Bathtub Test......  During a visit to the mental asylum, I asked the Director, "How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized?" 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub. 'Oh, I understand,' I said. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.' 'No.' said the Director, A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window? ARE YOU GOING TO PASS THIS ON, OR DO YOU WANT THE BED NEXT TO MINE? A Trip Down Memory Lane.....Anybody remember these 'Guys'        Wishing you a wonderful evening....and remember I 'R' Your biggest....  |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) October 29, 2009 04:09 AM |
    Kermit the Frog A frog goes into the bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack. 'Miss Whack, I'd like to take out a $30,000 loan to take a holiday.' Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger and that it is okay, his dad knows the bank manager. Patty explains that he will need to secure this loan with some collateral. The frog says, 'Sure, I have this,' and produces a tiny porcelain elephant about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed. Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office. She finds the manager and says 'There's a frog named Kermit Jagger out there who claims you know his dad and wants to borrow $30,000 and he wants to use this as collateral.' She holds up the tiny pink elephant, 'I mean what in the world is this?' The bank manager looks back at her and says... Are you ready for this??? Here it comes............. 'It's a knickknack Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man is a Rolling Stone!!!!'  The other day, I needed to go to the emergency room. Not wanting to sit there for 4 hours, I put on my old Army fatigues and stuck a patch onto the front of my shirt that I had downloaded off the Internet. When I went into the E.R., I noticed that 3/4 of the people got up and left. I guess they decided that they weren't that sick after all. Cut at least 3 hours off my waiting time. Here's the patch. Feel free to use it the next time you're in need of quicker emergency service.  It also works at DMV and the Laundromat. Don't try it at McDonald's, the whole crew will exit and you'll never get your order.  Next We Got Some Of The Coolest Contacts Created Especially For Halloween...But You Know...I Like Some So Well....I'd Wear Them Year Round...Like The Soccer Ball Ones....When I Go To My Grandkids Soccer Games...          Okay This Next 'Little Collage Of Halloween Tweets'....For Those Of You Who Still Have A Sweet Tooth After Looking At These....I Know I DON'T.... and Although These People Are Very Creative....I Have Decided They Have Waaaaaaaaaaay Tooooooo Much Free Time On Their Hands....And Would Anyone Actually Eat Any Of These Thangs....                     I Saw The Cat Leaving The Litter Box Above and He Had Buried The One Below In It...I Don't Think I am Gonna Be Able To Eat For Days....How Bout You ?????   Wishing You A wonderful Evening....And Remember I 'R' Your Biggest..... |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) October 28, 2009 10:06 PM |
Will Be Back Later With Autographs....running late today.... |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) October 27, 2009 02:08 AM |
  HOW TO STAY YOUNG 1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them'. 2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down. 3. Keep learning. Learn mor e about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's. 4. Enjoy the simple things. 5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath. 6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive. 7. Surround yourself with what you love , whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge. 8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help. 9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is. 10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity. 11. Be thankful. Instead of complaining that your TV set broke down, be thankful that you have an extra one to watch. Instead of complaining that the repairman won't get by to fix it until next week, be thankful there is a repairman. AND ALWAYS REMEMBER: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. And if you don't send this to at least 8 people - who cares? But do share this with some one. We all need to live life to its fullest each day!! Worry about nothing, pray about everything!!!    Thought These Might Give You Some Ideas When You Start Carving Your Pumpkin This Coming Week....            |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) October 26, 2009 01:59 AM |
What To Expect In Your Baby Book Photo's When You Are Raised By A 'Dad' That Is Into 'Graphics Design...'        Reason's 'Dog's' Hate Halloween......                      |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) October 25, 2009 02:18 AM |
After being married 25 years, one day I took a look at my wife and said,   'Honey, do you realize 25 years ago, I had a cheap apartment,  a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blond.  Now, we have a nice house,  nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman.  It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things!' Now my wife is a very reasonable woman.  She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blond,  and she would make sure  that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car,  sleeping on a sofa bed.... I shut up and took out the trash...  Aren't older women great? They really know how to solve your mid-life crisis! And For Your Viewing Pleasure....To Cute Not To Share....Love It... |
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KEPOLA (DEBBIE) October 23, 2009 11:18 PM |
HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! Everyone! BE Safe and Have Fun!!  Sure Ways to Find out if Your Neighbor is a Witch !   Most of her clothes on the clothes line are black. She hardly ever gets junk mail. You ask her what her secret is and she confides that she returns it to the sender after writing something on it. strange curly writing.  When you pop next door for a chat, the kettle is always already on. There are footprints on the roof. And the trees in her flight-path have been pruned down. I swear it's true!  She has a pond full of frogs, and you haven't seen that bothersome double-glazing salesman around for a while.  She doesn't kill spiders. Not even big hairy long-legged ones that suddenly appear from the water pipe while you're having a bath.  She's always smiling, darn her! She has named her four cats Joy, Dave, Linda, and Sherry... and her mice Starr and Leland.... Her bumper sticker reads:  She frequently gets raided by the drug squad who confiscate large amounts of dried green leaves; they always return them with apologies after analysis, but they act somewhat dazed.  You catch her maids, Allene, Pearl, Abner and Debbie washing a crystal ball along with the dishes. They fight constantly....amongst themselves trying to use it...  She wears a lot of silver jewelry, given to her by none other than her witch assistants Pamela, Judy, Sussi and Dusty...Even When she's doing the gardening, she wears those awful bat earrings.  She has 2 tamed robins named Tina and Rhonda...They constantly turn different colors and eat out of her hand. That just can't be natural....   All the stray cats in the neighborhood tend to congregate in her garden ... and use your yard as their litter box. She put a spell on one of her black cats and turned him white when he pooped on her bed.  She tells you that she is coming out of the broom closet, joins Witches' Voice, and erects a stained-glass pentacle window in her front door.  She assures you that she's only hugging a tree. You know it to be a fact that she ran into it while flying,  because you saw it with your own eyes ....  Yikes! there she is.....   |
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 Jean October 17, 2009 09:06 PM |
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 wolf {alphamale] October 16, 2009 11:24 PM |
Traditional Wedding Prayer of the Great Plains Indian |
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 Gerald October 16, 2009 11:19 PM |
thx for your help |
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 DANO October 16, 2009 09:50 PM |
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 Brenda October 16, 2009 07:51 PM |
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 0000JIM *AMO,ADMN* October 16, 2009 06:27 PM |
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem doctor. Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this earsplitting yell." |
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 Hurl (no Vote) October 16, 2009 05:08 PM |
My pc has been down ,, but I'am back |
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