hihi

plz help this lady and repost

During sex, my girlfriend always wants to talk to me. Just the other night she called me from a hotel.

heyy

The fight we had last night was my fault, my girlfriend asked me what was on the TV and i said dust.

Heyyy just trying to get some $LM so please return the favor thanks :)

HELP: Cops are after a suspect who smart, witty, sexy and good lookin...so where you gonna hide ME?

What's the difference between a woman with PMS and a Pitt Bull?
Lipstick

"To The World You May Be One Person But To One Person You May Be The World"

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, "I'd like some fries." The girl at the counter said, "Would you like some fries with that?

I wish I was a teddy bear,
that lay upon your bed,
so everytime you cuddled it,
you cuddled me instead

Those who cannot remember the past will spend a lot of time looking for their cars in mall parking lots.

Beware of the toes you step on today. They could be attached to the ass you may have to kiss tomorrow.

"Friends are the Bacon Bits in the Salad Bowl of Life."

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

Treasure every moment that you have! Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present

My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is to love and be loved in return.

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!