hi

lm

just letting u know i still love ya even though im not on that much

sorry havent been on to much lately

much love on the 4th everybody be careful today

its a quickie

just loving my friends

A woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a particularly
dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for a couple of
dollars for dinner.

The woman took out her bill fold, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I
give you this money, will you buy some wine with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago?, the homeless woman replied.

"Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?" the woman asked
"No, I don't waste time shopping?, the homeless woman said.
"I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."

"Will you spend this at a beauty salon instead of food?" the woman asked.
"Are you NUTS?" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had my hair done in
20 years!"

"Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to give you the money. Instead, I'm
going to take you out for dinner with my hubby and myself tonight. The
homeless woman was astounded. "Won't your husband be furious with you for
doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting." The
woman replied, "That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman
looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."

The kindergarten kids were now in the first grade. Their teacher wanted them to use more grown up words and sentences when they speak since they were no longer in kindergarten. She told them to use grown up words instead of baby words. She then asked them to tell her what they did during the summer.



The first little one said he went to see his “Nana”.

The teacher said, “No, No, you went to see your grandmother.” Use the grown up word.

The next little one said she went for a trip on a “cha-cha. ”

The teacher again said, “No, No, you went on a trip on a train.” That’s the grown up word.

Then the teacher asked the third little one what he did during the summer. He proudly stated that he read a book. The teacher asked what book he had read.

He puffed out his chest and in a very adult way replied
“Winnie the Shit.”

thursday lunch money

happy sunday

Q:why did God put a womans ass and pussy so close together?



A: so when they get drunk. you can carry them home like a six pack.

Q: Why doesn't a chicken wear pants?
A: Because his pecker is on his head!

The girl knelt in the confessional and said, "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned."

"What is it, child?"

"Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am."

The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, "My dear, I have good news. That isn't a sin - it's only a mistake."

loves her yearbook friends b/c they r awesome

One day, during a lesson on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show of hands for who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence twice. First, she called on little Suzy, who responded with, "My father bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."

"Very good, Suzy," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully," he said.

"Excellent, Michael!" Then, the teacher called on little Johnny.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was pregnant, and he said, 'Beautiful, fucking beautiful!'"

WHY DO MEN LIKE BIG BOOBS AND SMALL VA-JAY -JAYS?





BECAUSE THEY HAVE BIG MOUTHS AND LITTLE DICKS!!!!

Three blondes were taking a walk in the country when they came upon a line of tracks.
The first blonde said, "Those must be deer tracks!"
The second blonde said, "No, stupid, anyone can tell those are rabbit tracks!"
The third blonde said, "No, you idiots, those are horse tracks!"
They where still arguing ten minutes later when a train hit them.

Q. But do you know what 6.9 is?
A. A good thing screwed up by a period.

lunch money for my friends